...Five years ago today, I bounced through the halls of my high school, so excited to get home, because I couldn’t wait to watch a new show I’d seen promos for. I didn’t know too much about it, only that Jared Padalecki was in it— and I’ll admit it, I adored him on Gilmore Girls— and that the promos reminded me of Buffy. I grew up watching demon hunting and vampire slaying, and I couldn’t wait to get back to that. There were plenty of shows airing at the time that I loved, but there was just something about hunting monsters in the middle of the night that appealed to me far more than anything else, then and now.

Five years ago today, I settled onto my couch with my mom to watch the first episode of Supernatural, right after Gilmore Girls aired. I distinctly remember, only during the first episode, did they suggest that the viewers turn out their lights for the full effect of the show. My mom eagerly asked if we should— “Of course we should!”— and then begged me to turn the lights back on after Mary Winchester burst into flames on the ceiling moments later. She was terrified, I was delighted. This show started with a bang and kept at it through the entire Pilot: it was intense and scary, the music was badass, it was funny, it was interesting, and the main characters were gorgeous and had outrageous chemistry. Plus, they fried their mom at the beginning and Sam’s girlfriend at the end— this was not a show that screwed around, I wouldn’t be seeing any annoying, boring love triangles and stupid drama here. Just good old fashioned monster slaying, with a story that had me hooked from the get-go. I was in love.

Five years ago, I couldn’t have possibly known what the show would become, nor what it would come to mean to me.

Over the course of the first season I started realizing that, eerily enough, when I looked at Dean Winchester, I saw so much of myself staring back at me. It startled and alarmed me in the delicious way Supernatural always has and always will, as though they were painting a dark and all too familiar portrait of their audience through their characters. We might not hunt demons, but I’d bet just about anything that nearly every fan of Supernatural sees themselves in one or more of the characters. Maybe you loathe yourself, like Dean; maybe you fear yourself, like Sammy. Maybe you’re starting to feel like you’re not quite what you used to be, like Bobby. Maybe you don’t even know who you are anymore, like Cas. Maybe you’ve discovered that sometimes you can be the monster, too. Maybe you’ve wanted, more than once, to run away from who you really are, only to find out that you’re always right behind you. Or maybe you’ve just happily accepted that, like all of us, you’re at least a little bit like Becky.

...There are a million little things about these characters that make me love them, but it’s mostly that: that in a show so based in myth and legend, Eric Kripke has created brutally relatable and familiar characters who are terribly human and realistic.

Five years ago, I never could have guessed how much faith I’d come to put into Supernatural. I never could have guessed that it could break my heart, because I never could have guessed I’d come to care as much as I do. But, at the same time, I never could have guessed that it would put me back together so well, either. I never could have guessed that I’d meet such incredible people through this show, and make such amazing friends. I never could have guessed what an inspiration the show would be to me, or how much it would make me think, or feel.

And I never could have guessed that I’d end up shipping Dean with a man— well, an angel, really— and that seeing that would be the thing to put my heart back together when it was broken, and would make me believe that someday, someone would look at me like that; that someday I’d be worthy of having someone look at me like that.

I could not have known that, even when I was feeling horrible and low, and even when Supernatural had been what had made me feel horrible and low that day, something about it— someone I’d met through it, a beautiful piece of art, a lovely story, a funny video— would be able to make me feel better again.

I also couldn’t have known the twists and turns my life would take, over those five years. I couldn’t have known that I’d lose people, that things would crumble and fall to pieces, and that through it all, Supernatural would be my constant.

It’s felt more like a friend than a show, to me. It’s been there, making me smile, making me think, and, yes, occasionally making me sad or angry or frustrated but ultimately always making up for it in the end.

And it’s brought me to you.

I imagine if you’ve read this far, it’s because you’re a part of the fandom, too. I don’t know if we’ve ever spoken or not, but if we haven’t, I’d like to, because you’re a part of this big, crazy family that puts the “fun” back in “dysfunctional.” Like the Winchesters and Bobby and Cas and the Harvelles and Pam and and everyone else that’s come in and out of their lives, we’re an odd bunch, this fandom. Most of us are a little socially awkward or weird, some of us are painfully shy, some of us are outgoing and hilarious, and we’re all different, but we have Supernatural in common. And no matter how different we are, we’re all freaks, and we’re not going to leave each other. We’re one big, weird family who could kick back and have a few beers, eat breakfast and Singer Salvage, or discuss mythology until we’re blue in the face. And I love you. You are a part of something that’s changed me, that has brought light to my life even in the darkest days, and I love you.

Thank you for all being a part of this journey with me. I know some of us are nervous about what’s coming next (I’m one of them), but don’t worry. We’re all on the same open road together, along for the ride with Sam and Dean. And I can’t imagine wanting to travel these twisted, dusty backroads with anyone but you lot.

So thank you, to the fandom, and to the show. I look forward to driving off into the sunset with you once more.

Carry on.

(via samanthaaleighh)

Это было потрясающе красиво сказано. Тумблр в слезах.

@настроение: crazy

@темы: Фандомы, Фанючные забеги по потолку, Внезапно!, Супернатуралы, "We are alive, Negro. Isn't that beautiful?"